Xiaolin Lawsuit
by Mazarin Stone
Summary: After being injured during a showdown, Jack Spicer decides to sue the Xiaolin dragons for damages. Read & Review!
1. All Part of My Plan

_I solemnly swear that I am not Christy Hui and that I do not own any part of Xiaolin Showdown._

**A/N: Unlike my other fic, the Great Ghost of Dashi, this one takes place during season two, before Wuya becomes flesh for the second time and before our heroes become Wudai warriors. **

**So…uh, read and review, please!**

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The Heylin witch Wuya groaned as she soared around the familiar confines of Jack Spicer's evil lair. She was having another one of those nasty Shen Gong Wu headaches, the ones that came on when a particularly important Wu had revealed itself. The only way to get rid of it was to find the Shen Gong Wu in question. But she couldn't do that without the unfortunate assistance of her evil protégé, Jack Spicer…

She ghosted through the walls of Spicer's house, looking for him. Wuya managed to find him sleeping at his worktable next to another one of his worthless machines. Wuya hovered in front of him, yelling his name over and over.

Jack slowly opened one eye, then the other. At first, they were both out of focus but they quickly began staring straight into Wuya's glowing green eyes.

"You know, you're not really what I want to wake up to every morning." He said groggily.

"Yeah, and you're just _wonderful_-looking in the morning, too." Wuya snapped. "Ever heard of a comb?"

"Ever heard of mouthwash?" Jack retorted.

Wuya rolled her eyes. She didn't really have time for this. "I don't have battles of wit with the unarmed, Jack! I just want to tell you that you should be _looking _for the Mokkou Feather!"

"The what now?" Jack said dazedly, and Wuya could only groan.

* * *

The Mokkou Feather was found at the bottom of a vast lake, which gave Jack Spicer the opportunity to use his new retooled and redesigned Siamese Fighting Fish-bots. "They're programmed to be fuel-efficient!" He pointed out as he and Wuya descended into the bottom of the lake in the Molar _3000_."

Unfortunately (for them), the Xiaolin monks were on the case, using the Tunnel Armadillo to burrow out of the ground just 20 feet away from the Mokkou Feather.

"The Xiaolin monks are on top of the case!" Omi said, since he couldn't hear the narration.

"I think you mean, 'on the case', Omi." Raimundo corrected.

"You're not getting to that Shen Gong Wu!" Jack called. "Not on my watch! Siamese Fighting Fish-bots…_annihilatify_…them!"

"Boy, _that's _a mouthful, isn't it?" Kimiko remarked as the Siamese Fighting Fish-bots went rocketing towards the Tunnel Armadillo.

The Fish-bots numbered only three but they had some pretty sharp weapons attached to them. Clay, who was at the wheel, squinted as they came into range. As soon as they were close enough, he activated the drill in front of the Tunnel Armadillo, spearing one of the robots and sending its cheap parts spraying all over water.

The other two Fish-bots flared up and began arming their laser weapons. Clay managed to maneuver his way out of one of the blasts but the second one got the Tunnel Armadillo square in the middle of its side, sending it pin-wheeling upside-down away from the Mokkou Feather.

Clay hammered on the controls but the Tunnel Armadillo couldn't put itself right-side up.

"Jack's getting the Shen Gong Wu!" Kimiko cried as Jack, wearing a diving helmet, made his way towards the Mokkou Feather.

"I'll get him." Omi said. He fixed the Gills of Hamachi around his head and swam out of the Tunnel Armadillo.

The remaining Fish-bot quickly hurried to stop him. Omi closed his eyes and delivered a series of sharp raps to the machine's head, fins, and tail. Immediately, the nails, screws, and gears holding it together came asunder, reducing the Fish-bot to nothing more than a pile of really expensive garbage.

Jack was the first to lay hands on the feather, but before he could lift it from its resting spot, Omi was there to touch it as well.

"Jack Spicer!" Omi said. "I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown!"

The evil boy genius smirked in response. "I accept. My Fist of Tebigong against your Gills of Hamachi. First one to catch the Mokkou Feather wins."

"Very well," Omi replied.

"Gong Yi Tanpai!" They said in unison, beginning the showdown.

The Mokkou Feather changed itself into a small blue minnow and quickly raced off in the other direction in a flurry of bubbles.

"_Gills of Hamachi_!" Omi burbled, chasing after it with swift strokes. Even though the minnow was blending in with the water, Omi could still mark its progress since the fish's swimming was creating bubbles in the water.

Jack hurried after Omi. Normally, he wouldn't have been able to catch up but Omi was going especially slow since he was trying to make sure that he wouldn't lose track of the minnow.

"Yo, Opie!" He called, raising his hand. "_Fist of Tebigong_!" He brought his Fist of Tebigong down on Omi's head – hard. The monk went dizzy really fast and began sinking to the bottom of the lake once again.

"Omi, get up!" called Kimiko.

"Yeah! Get back in the game!" Raimundo shouted.

"Not helping!" Omi groaned as he began to see double.

Jack cackled as he closed in on the minnow. He had trapped it on a rock bed on the far side of the lake and was about to grab it and win the showdown.

Omi stared blearily at the scene before realizing what he needed to do. "Tornado Strike," He began, waving his arms. "_Water_!"

Jack Spicer was reaching towards the struggling minnow when all of a sudden he was dragged backwards by the force of an oceanic cyclone. He waved his Fist of Tebigong around impotently as he was lifted up and sent sailing back past Omi and into the wreckage of one of his Fish-bots.

"Jack, you fool! Stop him!" Wuya hissed.

But it was too late. Omi used his elemental power to pull the water around the minnow, forcing it to swim towards him no matter how much it tried to get away. He closed his hands around the tiny fish, and, in that same instant, won the showdown.

"Nice one, Omi!" Rai said as soon as Omi arrived back at the Tunnel Armadillo with the Mokkou Feather and the Fist of Tebigong.

* * *

"Nice job, Jack Spicer!" Wuya snapped. "You just lost two more Shen Gong Wu to the Xiaolin dragons!"

"It's all part of my plan!" Jack cackled as he boarded the Molar 3000 and dug their way back to his lair.


	2. To Tha Shaolin Losers

_A/N: I still don't own Xiaolin Showdown, because the executive producer won't sell out_.

The next morning, Dojo was busy making the morning tea for Master Fung when his ears picked up the sound of helicopter blades. A few seconds later, something small but heavy crashed through the glass ceiling of the kitchen, landing on his tail. He wriggled his way out from under it, his eyes watering as he tried to massage the pain out of his poor injured tail.

"Who did that?" He groaned as he glared at what had fallen on him. It was a parcel, hastily wrapped and covered with stamps. There was a postcard taped to the front with a crude, poorly-colored picture of a Jack-bot on it. The parcel was made out to 'tha shaolin (sp?) loosers'.

After Dojo summoned Master Fung and the _Xiaolin _dragons into the room, he bared his claws and cut the package open. Inside was a small purple machine that looked like a really tiny television set. There was a screen and a single knob for adjusting volume.

The machine whirred to life and the screen began flickering. Jack Spicer appeared on the screen. He was picking his nose and staring off at something that wasn't on camera.

"What? It's on?" He was saying. His eyes moved over to the screen and quickly pulled his finger from his nose. "Ahem! This message was paid for by JACK SPICER LTD on behalf of JACK SPICER…"

Wuya floated into shot.

"And Wuya, too, I guess." Jack said, rolling his eyes.

"Anyway, Xiaolin losers, I sent this message to inform you that I'm going to be suing you for _all _the tea in China!"

"What?" Wuya demanded.

"Oh, and the Shen Gong Wu too." Jack amended quickly.

"He can't do that!" Kimiko said.

"I know what you're thinking," Jack said. "'I can't do that!' But you're _wrong_! I can do that. You see, I've been consulting with my Lawyer-bots 1.0, 2.0, and 3.0, and they've told me that I can sue you losers for everything you're worth."

One of the Lawyer-bots, a floating humanoid machine wearing a three-piece suit, came floating into the shot next to Wuya. "Enclosed is a subpoena. If you don't show up for the court-date tomorrow, then you _forfeit _all of your Shen Gong Wu, as well as that nice temple you guys live in."

The Xiaolin dragons were shocked.

"I know you're probably shocked, and maybe even astounded!" Jack snickered, pushing his Lawyer-bot out of the way. "Maybe you should have thought of that before you tried to were _so mean to me_ all because I wanted to take over the world and enslave humanity."

His cackling eventually died down as the scene from Jack Spicer's lair was replaced by a very poor CGI duplicate of a time-bomb.

"This Messenger-bot will self-destruct in 10…9…8…7…" The machine intoned.

Clay quickly lassoed the machine into the air. Kimiko kicked it up through the ceiling, causing it to explode in the sky above the temple.

"I do not understand." Omi said. "Jack Spicer could not possibly take all of our Shen Gong Wu."

"Oh, he's just being stupid." Kimiko said. "It probably doesn't even matter."

"On the contrary," Master Fung said softly. "Jack Spicer has figured out how to harness an evil so great that it almost surpasses even Wuya. An evil…known as the frivolous suit system."

"Huh?" Clay murmured.

"If he succeeds in his plans," Master Fung continued. "He may yet steal away all of our Shen Gong Wu. You have to stop him." He rose to his feet. "I will go and consult with the elder monks."

"I know just how to stop him." Raimundo said. "We go to his house and smash all his stuff."

"That could work." Omi commented. "But since I am the leader and you are the last person to become a Xiaolin apprentice, we will have to use a slightly better plan of my devising."

While Raimundo choked on his own annoyance, Omi turned to Kimiko and Clay. "What do _you _think we should do, friend Kimiko and friend Clay?"

"Nothing." Clay said. "We don't have to play Spicer's game."

"I agree." Kimiko added.

"Then it is settled. We will…do nothing." Omi said.

The monks got up and left Dojo alone in the kitchen. As soon as Clay shut the door, a strange noise began to come from the parcel. Dojo peered close at it only to see a strange metallic creature hiding inside it. The creature, which was a machine supported on 8 spindly legs, hurried out from underneath the parcel and sprayed Dojo with a purple mist. Before he could react, his vision went blurry and he slumped forward, unconscious.

Clay pushed open the door and peered inside. "Dojo? How's it going with that tea?"

The robot spider unobtrusively lifted one of Dojo's arms and changed its voice to sound like the dragon's. "Oh, it's almost done. Could you please go away and not come back for ten minutes or so?"

The dragon of the earth blinked. "But why--," He began.

"Go away! Do it now!" The spider snapped, its voice cracking.

"But--,"

"_Now_!"

Clay shrugged and closed the door. "What a Dojo…" He muttered.

The spider turned on Dojo, further immobilizing him with a sticky spider web. It then tugged on a strand dangling next to Dojo's tail and slowly dragged the diminutive dragon away from the temple and into the custody of Jack Spicer, evil boy genius.


	3. To Tha Shaolin Losers Pt 2

Jack Spicer rubbed his hands with malicious glee as his Capture-bot arrived with the goods. Dojo was his ace in the hole. In case the Xiaolin dragons decided not to show, he would reveal his hostage.

"But first – evil theme song time!" Jack snapped his fingers and summoned three Jack-bots with boom-boxes in their chests. They began playing a really loud death metal song while Jack bobbing his head out-of-tune with the music. "'cause they call me JACK SPICER, evil boy genius! 'cause I _am…_JACK SPICER! Evil boy genius…and the dark prince of the universe!"

"What are you doing?" Wuya demanded.

"I'm jammin'!" Jack said, doing the robot.

Wuya gritted her intangible teeth. "You _should _be practicing your battle skills. I don't want to see another embarrassment to the Heylin like what you did in that showdown for the Mokkou Feather."

She floated through Jack's head and went into his vault. "You see!" She shrieked after a few minutes. "You only have _two _Shen Gong Wu! That is a _disgrace_!"

Jack responded by turning up the music.

Wuya responded to _that _by floating into Jack's head. He tried to ignore it but the cool, creepy clammy sensation was too much for him.

"Okay, okay!" Jack muttered, shutting off the Jack-bots. "I'll have you know that, if—_when _my plan succeeds, we'll have _all _the tea in China _and _all the Shen Gong Wu!"

"Oh?" Wuya replied incredulously. "And how might _that _be?"

Jack smirked. "You're just going to have to wait and find out!"

Life at the Xiaolin temple had quickly returned to normal. Master Fung was beginning his exhaustive course on fighting and defeating the dragons' greatest nemesis, the diabolical Chase Young.

"Today we will be learning a new Xiaolin technique." Master Fung said as the dragons convened in the courtyard. "We will be attempting to master the art of Ki Lightning. It is easy to summon, but difficult to control. You will require no Shen Gong Wu for this activity. Only your utmost focus and dedication will be necessary."

Master Fung asked them to watch as he demonstrated the proper technique for his attack. He slid into an almost relaxed stance and shifted all his body weight on his back leg. He then locked eyes on a practice dummy and began moving his arms back and forth past his left side. As he did so, pale blue sparks began to trail from his shoulder blades, spiraling around and around until they reached the tip of his fingers.

The brightness of the sparks made it hard to look at it, and the Xiaolin dragons were pretty unnerved by the unearthly humming that was coming from Master Fung's lightning.

With one sharp thrust, Master Fung sent a bolt of lightning arcing from the palms of his hands. It soared through the air, striking the practice dummy. Smoke began erupting from it as it was set ablaze. Then, it exploded, sending straw flying everywhere.

"Whoa." Kim said.

"You said it." Clay said, raising the brim of his ten-gallon hat.

"You will all learn to manipulate energies as strong as that." Master Fung said. "But first, you must learn proper form. Begin!"

Kimiko and Raimundo were fairly certain that they would be able to master Ki Lightning much more easily than Omi and Clay. After all, lightning fell under the domain of fire and the air.

"Ha!" The monks cried in unison. Nary had a spark jumped from their palms.

"It is not working, Master Fung." Omi complained.

"You must have more patience, Omi." Master Fung chided. "The power of Ki Lightning is great, but it requires focus and patience to use. Try it again."

They did so quickly, and were even more disappointed when they couldn't see any sparks.

Master Fung told them to keep practicing for an hour until sunset. Then he left, giving the Xiaolin dragons an opportunity to talk.

"Has anyone seen Dojo?" Kimiko asked.

"Dojo?" Clay replied. "Oh, he's messing around in the kitchen. I wouldn't go after him; he's in an ornery mood."

"I was _in _the kitchen like 10 minutes ago, and he wasn't there." Kimiko said.

"I am sure that this is all minor tubers." Omi said.

"Small potatoes." Raimundo corrected.

"That makes no sense!" Omi retorted, and Raimundo groaned.

"I sure hope that he hasn't been dragon-napped or something." Kimiko said. "It would be just like that Jack Spicer to do something like that."

Just then, another parcel came whistling from the sky. The dragons looked up just in time to get away as the Jack-bot carrying it zoomed up and out of sight.

"What is it now?" Clay demanded as he walked over to the parcel. He tore it open only to find another recording like the one Jack Spicer had sent earlier that morning.

"In case you losers haven't realized, _I have your dragon_." Jack said.

"No-good varmint!" Clay snapped.

"Yeah, I'm a varmint." Jack said, running his hands through his hair. "The varmint _whose got your gecko_! And if you don't show up for the court trial anymore, he's gonna be _gone_!"

"Gone?" Omi asked, a little obtusely. "Gone _how_?"

"He'll be gone! He'll be a stiff, bereft of life! If you don't nail him up he'll be pushing up daisies! He'll ring down the curtains and join the choir invisible! He'll be an ex-gecko…unless you show up and play my game!" Jack snickered and help up a cage containing a rather discomfited dragon.

"Hi, guys." Dojo said, waving sheepishly. "I don't want to put any pressure on you…but you HAVE TO COME SAVE ME! Please _please PLEASE_!"

"Toodles." Jack said, and the machine went dead.

Before it self-destructed, Clay gave it a swift karate chop and smashed it to pieces.

"I guess we don't have a choice any more." Clay said. "We're going to have to go to the trial."

"I'll call my dad, Toshiro Tohomiko. Maybe he'd let us borrow one of his army of lawyers." Kimiko said, pulling out her cell phone.

Raimundo had a different idea. "I can't believe that you guys are going to go along with this _so _easily! We should be raiding Spicer and saving Dojo right now. I mean, it's not like his stupid Jack-bots are any match for us."

"No." Omi said. "We have to do this delicately. We do not want Dojo to be hurt because of any mistakes."

Raimundo rolled his eyes. "Whatever, guys. I'll…I'll be in my room."

As soon as he was gone, Clay said, "He's not _going _to be in his room, is he?"

"Of course not." Kimiko said. "I know Raimundo, and I know when he's lying. We better go stop him from doing something silly."

"Agreed." Omi said, and they went back into the temple.


	4. And Then There Were Two

Raimundo _did _make it to his room, as a matter of fact. He kept a boxful of Shen Gong Wu next to the threadbare mat thing that Master Fung kept insisting was a bed. After making sure that no one was looking, Raimundo edged towards the box and pried it open using his fingernails.

Inside were the Helmet of Jong and the Thorn of Thunderbolt. Rai found it safe to keep them out of the vault and only return them when he thought that someone was going to miss them. Rai planned on using them to rescue Dojo.

"What're you doing?" A voice asked. Raimundo whirled around, carefully knocking the box out of site behind the rest of his stuff. Kimiko was standing at the door, looking suspicious.

"Nothing! I was just…um, playing Goo Zombies XII." Raimundo lied.

"There _is _no Goo Zombies XVII." Kimiko said reproachfully.

"Okay, okay!" Raimundo said. "I was really going to attack Jack Spicer's lair to save Dojo. And you can't stop me."

"Wasn't planning to." Kimiko replied.

"You…you weren't?" Raimundo said incredulously.

"Yeah. I know you. If you're going after Spicer then there's nothing I can do to stop you. All I can do is go along to keep your butt out of the fire." Kimiko explained.

"Oh, cool!" Raimundo said in response. "Let's go, then."

* * *

As Kimiko and Rai headed for the lair, Jack Spicer was busy finishing up the remaining phases of his complicated 'trial' scheme. He had sent Jack-bots to Chase Young's not-so-secret secret lair, Pandabubba's Hong Kong mansion, Katnappe's apartment, Vlad's ancestral home in Russia and the equally un-secret secret dojo of the ninja Tubbimura. Each robot had one of his new recording machines in them that would tell them to come to the courthouse in five minutes. 

The Lawyer-bots came floating over to Jack, tapping him on the shoulder. "We've completed our records acquisition, Mr. Spicer, sir." 1.0 said.

2.0 opened its briefcase and 3.0 began counting off each and every tape, folder, and document crammed inside.

"Awesome. Nice job, guys. Grab a juice box." Jack said airily.

"We're robots." 1.0 said.

"We don't drink juice." 2.0 said.

"No offense." 3.0 said.

"Just go away!" Jack snapped as he finished recording the last message to Tubbimura.

The Jack-bot soared through the ceiling, bursting through the upstairs bathroom floor and shattering a window in the attic.

Wuya came over to Jack with her usual complaints. "If you put as much effort into learning how to fight as you do with this silly garbage, you would be more powerful than Chase Young."

"Chase Young!" Jack gasped. "Hey, I wonder how he's doing. I sure hope he replies to the Jack-bot I sent him."

He decided to go over and taunt the captive again, just for laughs until he got contacted by the people he had invited. A Jack-bot brought the caged Dojo over. The dragon was curled up in the middle of his cage, staring blearily at him.

Jack held up a chocolate bar and began peeling it open with a knife. "I bet you're pretty hungry right now."

Dojo folded his arms. "No. Not really."

"Yeah," Jack continued, undeterred. "I bet you're really hungry for some nice, sweet chocolate right about now."

"Too much chocolate gives me hives in unfortunate place." Dojo lied. "Wanna see?"

"No!" Jack said, turning his head away.

He pushed the chocolate bar between the bars of the cage, dangling just in front of Dojo's snout. The dragon was quite content with pointedly looking away every time Jack moved it too close.

Jack had been doing this for three minutes when a Jack-bot thankfully arrived to distract him. "Sir, the proximity alert has been activated, sir." It said, tapping Jack on the shoulder with its metallic claws.

"What?" Jack demanded. "Who would _dare _attack the super-secret lair of _Jack Spicer, _evil boy genius? Who, I ask you? _Who_?"

"_Thorn of Thunderbolt_!" In response to Jack's question, a huge electric blast smashed through the west wall of his evil lair, sending dirt, dust, and robot parts flying through the air.

When the dust cleared, Raimundo and Kimiko had appeared in his secret lair.

"We'll be taking our dragon back now." Kimiko said.

"Yeah, right." Jack said, rolling his eyes. "Jack-bots! Get them!"

Rai and Kimiko went into fighting stances, expecting to be swarmed by Jack Spicer's apparently inexhaustible supply of expendable robots. But, for some reason, they hung back.

"What? What are you doing? Why aren't you annihilating?" Jack asked.

"We _quit_!" One of the Jack-bots shrieked. "We're _sick _of being yelled that and beaten up and blown to pieces, day after day, episode after episode. We might be robots, but we have feelings too!"

Jack Spicer gritted his teeth. He _knew _he shouldn't have installed those emotion chips.

"Well, you still can't have the dragon unless you attend my trial." Jack said and the Jack-bots brushed past him and flew away, apparently off to test the job market for new opportunities.

"Who's going to stop us?" Rai asked.

Jack Spicer snapped his fingers and grinned evilly. Rai and Kimiko looked around as about five Capture-bots skittered down the walls from the ceiling and began spraying them with spider-webs. In a blink of an eye, they were completely immobilized.

"Like my new super-evil Capture-bots?" Jack Spicer asked.

"If they're yours," Kimiko said, peering suspiciously at the mechanical spiders. "Then why do they have the words 'hase ung' on them?"

"Okay, okay, fine." Jack said. "I expropriated them from Hase Ung's—er, _Chase Young's _private arsenal."

"Huh." Dojo said. "Does 'expropriate' still mean 'stealing them and trying to scrape off Chase's name with your fingernails'? Because that's really lame."

Jack sniffed. "I used a _nail file_."

"You're not going to get away with this!" Raimundo said, struggling to break free.

"I already have." Jack replied, and he began cackling with maniacal glee.

* * *


	5. Cross Conversation

_**A/N**_

_**Robin Uses Wings of Tinabi: **Yeah, he is Shoku warrior, but unlike my other story, this is set during season two, before they even become Wudai warriors. Reason I did this was because I thought Wudai warriors would be powerful to put up with the crap that's going to happen during the trial._

_**Silver Sword: **Thanks! I really like it when I get reviews._

_**Hybrid-Sunshine: **:D The trial is coming up in a bit._

* * *

All over the world, Jack Spicer's messenger Jack-bots were delivering their messages. Chase Young, Pandabubba, Katnappe, Vlad, and the ninja Tubbimura were all receiving special messages from the evil boy genius.

"Hello! If you're reading this, then I, _Jack Spicer_, have chosen to invite _you_, Chase YoungPandabubbaKatnappeVladTubbimura to the First Grand Imperial Jack Spicer's Dark Courthouse of Doom for the trial of the century. Where I, _Jack Spicer_, will take revenge on my, _Jack Spicer's_, enemies, the Xiaolin monks!"

The image panned out to reveal a bad CGI rendition of Omi, Raimundo, Kimiko, and Clay being lowered into a pool of obviously-fake sharks while Jack Spicer looked on in triumph.

"Remember that time that you were yelling at me for only having two Shen Gong Wu?" Jack Spicer asked when he saw Wuya again.

Wuya arched her eyebrow. "Yes?"

"Yeah." Jack smirked. "Check it!" He kicked open his safe to reveal _four _Shen Gong Wu.

"The Helmet of Jong!" Wuya gasped. "The Thorn of Thunderbolt!"

Jack stuck his head through Wuya's ghostly form and into the safe. "Yeah. Those, with the Changing Chopsticks and the Monkey Staff, make…uh…one…two….uh…"

"_Four_." Wuya said firmly. "You have _four _Shen Gong Wu, which is a lot better than you've been doing for a while. Well done, Jack Spicer!"

Jack's eyes began to water. "Aw! Gimme a hug!"

He moved forward, passing through Wuya like she was some sort of…well…ghost.

"Oh, yeah." He muttered sheepishly. "Forgot about that."

"_Spicer_!" said a curt voice.

Jack whirled around only to see Chase Young's face in his giant supercomputer's screen.

"Hi, Chase!" Jack squealed. "I'm so glad you called. I'm running this Xiaolin trial scheme and…"

The screen was suddenly bisected, with Chase Young on the left and a new face, that of the Hong Kong kingpin Pandabubba's, on the right.

"Spicer! What is the meaning of this?" Pandabubba demanded, holding a twisted bit of plastic that used to be one of Jack Spicer's exploding recorded-message machines.

"It's a subpoena." Jack said. "I sent them to you because--,"

The screen split once more, sending Chase Young and Pandabubba to the left- and right-top corners respectively. The entire bottom half was taken up by an oddly-stretched Katnappe.

"Hey, freak-boy, are you mentally challenged?" She demanded.

"A little." Jack admitted.

"This stupid machine just blew up my living room. My teddy-bears…I mean, _thieves tools _went up in flames!" Katnappe continued angrily.

"Could you hold off on that? I'm getting another line." Jack pressed a button on his dashboard, splitting the screen into four parts, with Katnappe moving to the left-bottom corner to make room for the Russian vendor, Vlad.

"First you destroy my family wagon! Then you waste my time with your buffoon games! Then you try to kill me!" Vlad roared.

"No, no, no!" Jack whined as yet another screen opened up in the middle of the four-way conversation. Tubbimura was sitting in it, eating Doritos with one hand while hurling shuriken at an out-of-view adversary with the other.

"You have broken seventeen months of heavy concealment and ninja-style action." Tubbimura bellowed. "Now I shall never be able to destroy my enemy, Sarutobi Sasuke!"

"I warn you, Spicer." Chase said. "Continue to waste my time and I will crush you like the insect that you are."

"Yes, but--," Jack began.

"I am a very powerful and dangerous man, Spicer." Pandabubba threatened. "You do _not _wish to get on my bad side."

"Yes, but--,"

"You can kiss your evil career _good-bye_, Spicer!" Katnappe sneered. "I'm going to have you blacklisted from every super-villain convention in the world."

"Yes, but--,"

"I shall ask my Babushka to put a deadly curse on you, Spicer!" Vlad piped up, cracking his knuckles.

"Yes, but--,"

"The Corpulent-Ones-Stalking-In-The-Night ninja clan shall make the shadows your greatest enemy, Spicer!" Tubbimura declared. "Be afraid!"

"_Be SILENT_!" boomed a high, howling, unnatural voice. All voices died down as everyone turned to look at Jack Spicer. Jack looked up as well, only to see Wuya hovering over him, sparks jumping from her eyes. "Go ahead and talk." She said, almost kindly.

Jack cleared his throat and began to prance back and forth in front of the stunned villains. "What I was _trying _to say was that I've captured Kimiko and Raimundo and I'm going to prosecute the Xiaolin dragons for all those times they beat all of us up. I'm _inviting _you guys as character witnesses and/or jury members to come to the trial tomorrow.

"Intriguing proposition." Pandabubba said, keeping his eyes locked on Wuya. "I will go."

"Eh, I might show up." Katnappe responded, sounding noncommittal.

"You owe me a new wagon." Vlad said.

"I will attend…for a price." Tubbimura added.

Chase Young's response was simply disappearing from his part of the screen, giving Pandabubba enough room to stretch.

"Great! I'll send another message to the Xiaolin losers." Jack said. "This will be my greatest evil plan ever!"

* * *

Back at the temple, Omi and Clay had just discovered that they now had _three _missing persons to deal with.

"I cannot _believe _that Raimundo would go after Jack Spicer, especially before we came up with a plan!" Omi said.

"I can't believe that you can't believe that Raimundo would go after Jack Spicer before we came up with a plan." Clay replied, rubbing his chin. "I mean, that's like Raimundology 101 right there. I'm just surprised that Kimiko would go along without telling us."

"Outcoming!" Omi shouted, looking up at the night sky. Clay blinked slowly at that.

"Wha—oh, you mean _in_coming." Clay said, finally understanding what he was saying. "It's another one of those stupid messages."

Jack's message turned out to be really short this time. "I have your friends," He said, gesturing towards three cages in the background. "You want to see them again, you'll come to the enclosed address for the trial of the century!"

* * *


	6. The Trial Begins Starring Roy Bean!

_You know the drill! Read and Review and all that._

_

* * *

_

"Know the plan?" Clay asked as they prepared for the trial that morning.

"Yes, of course, friend Clay." Omi replied. He pulled the blankets off of his bed to reveal an official-looking briefcase filled with Shen Gong Wu. "You will take the Shroud of Shadows and the Reversing Mirror and attempt to rescue our friends." He pulled out the Shroud and the Mirror and handed it over to Clay. "I will hide the other Shen Gong Wu and then go over to the trial to provide you with cover. Should be a slice of cake!"

He locked the briefcase of Wu and held it in his right hand to free his left hand for using his own Wu. "_Mokkou Feather_!" He said, holding up the magic feather. There was a great flash of light and a vortex slowly began to form over his head. Omi stuck the feather between his teeth and hurled the briefcase inside, causing the vortex to collapse and disappear with all of the Wu still inside.

"What did you do?" Clay asked.

"The Mokkou Feather's power allows the user to transport anything into another world, made entirely out of pagodas and the essence of tranquility." Omi explained.

"That's…that's what I thought." Clay said. "Anyway, pardner, good luck."

* * *

Jack Spicer used the magic of money to raise an gigantic courthouse next to his mansion, complete with a court justice and a bailiff. He had sent invitations to all of his evil buddies, and most of them had showed up. Not to be outdone, Omi had asked Master Fung to let some of the elder monks go, just for moral support. Master Fung had done them one better, and provided them all with some fancy dress clothes for their day in court.

"Where's your hick friend, Opie?" Jack asked as Omi was standing in front of the courthouse. Omi turned around only to see Jack Spicer reclining in a wheelchair, looking like he had just gone toe-to-toe with Godzilla. He had two black eyes, half of his hair had been shaved off, and he was wearing a huge fluffy pink neck-brace. He was being doted on by his Lawyer-bots, who kept chattering in unison as they pushed his wheelchair around.

"I am sorry to see that you are injured, Jack Spicer." Omi said politely, finding it somewhat difficult to actually _feel_ bad about seeing it.

Jack gave a violent hacking cough and almost fell out of his chair. "Yeah, you'd—you'd _better _be sorry. 'Cause you made me like this."

"What?" Omi demanded. "This is a lie! The last time I saw you, you were hale and healthy!"

The evil boy genius shrugged. "Whatever, Opie."

"Omi!" Omi snapped.

"Ollie. It doesn't really matter _who _did it." Jack coughed again. "I'm still hurt and it's _all your fault_."

While Omi was sputtering with indignation, Jack signaled for his Lawyer-bots to push him into the courthouse.

When Jack entered the courtyard, Clay's head appeared in midair. "I'm ready, Omi. Just try and keep 'em distracted until I give you the signal."

"What's the signal?" Omi asked.

"The Dragon X-Kumei!" Clay replied, and his head disappeared once again, rendered invisible by the Shroud of Shadows.

Omi shrugged his shoulders. He didn't understand how that was supposed to be a signal, but he trusted his friend Clay and thought that he would know what to do when the time was right. And if not, well, Omi knew that he had more than enough skills to handle anything that came their way, no matter how difficult or treacherous.

He walked into the courthouse with the elder monks, taking their seats on the left hand of the building. On the right side were Jack Spicer, Wuya, and his three Lawyer-bots, as well as some of his old 'friends', Katnappe, Tubbimura, Vlad, and the Hong Kong crime boss Pandabubba. In front next to the judge's podium was a jury comprised of two _Sh_aolin monks, two knitting old ladies, one Jack-bot, a surfer, four dentists, and two identical twins wearing matching business suits.

"All rise!" The bailiff said.

Everyone rose to their feet.

"No, wait. My bad. You can sit down." The bailiff said sheepishly. He turned his back on everyone as they got back to their feet and began rapping his baton on the judge's podium.

Finally, the judge arrived. He was an old round man who was dressed like a cowboy. He arrived at the podium and used a six-shooter like a gavel, pounding on his podium with its butt.

"All rise!" The bailiff said again. "For the honorable Judge Phantly Roy Bean is…um…presiding. Was that right?"

"Eh, it was a good enough try for a bailiff at the good ol' Jersey Lilly Langtry" Judge Roy Bean replied. "Now, I'm bein' told that that round-boy there--," He pointed at Omi. "—was responsible for _viciously _pummelin' that red-headed stepchild over _yonder_." He pointed at Jack, who scowled.

"I am not a stepchild!" Jack whined.

"You're not even a real red-head." Wuya said, looking down on Jack's head.

"You're not?" Omi asked quizzically.

"Enough!" Judge Roy Bean snapped. "Anyway, first I'd like to hear Albino-Child's openin' statement."

Jack cleared his throat. Lawyer-Bot 1.0 came forward.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury…" The Lawyer-bot glanced at the jury box. "We are here today to put away an evil psychopath!"

"I am not--," Omi began hotly.

"Shaddup!" The Lawyer-bot snapped. "We are here today to put away an evil so-and-so for his wanton and completely unprovoked attacks on my client – the darling good boy genius Jack Spicer!"

Jack Spicer gave the jury a feeble grin.

"During this trial, 2.0, 3.0, and I will _prove_ that this Amy--,"

"Omi." Omi muttered.

"—_Ali_, deserves to be put away _forever_. Oh, and he has to give up all of his Shen Gong Wu as well." The Lawyer-bot bowed and floated back over to Jack Spicer's side.

Judge Roy Bean aimlessly shuffled some papers on his desk. "Fine opening statement, robottorney." He drawled. "_Your _turn, Amy."

Omi gulped. Public speaking wasn't something he was good at. But he had to keep this trial going as long as possible to give Clay enough time to sneak into Spicer's mansion and rescue his friends. Putting aside all of his fears, he got up and walked over to the jury box, desperately thinking of what he was going to say.

* * *

_A/N: I still don't own Xiaolin Showdown, and I also don't own Judge Roy Bean. However, you can read about him here:_

_http/en._


	7. Katnappe's Testimony

Omi paced back and forth in front of the jury, his eyes closed and deep in thought. Tiger instincts were good for the adrenaline rush of a Xiaolin showdown, but out of that they felt almost worthless. He would have to rely on his other skills, ones that had nothing to do with asceticism or fighting.

"Ladies and gentleman of the jury," He began, clearing his throat as someone snorted loudly in that background. "I have only this to tell you – I did not hurt Jack Spicer, and it is not true that Jack Spicer is even injured. You have to believe me."

"Yeah, right." One of the Shaolin monks muttered.

"Is that all you have to say?" Judge Roy Bean asked.

Omi sighed. "No. Furthermore, I would like to bring up the fact that _Jack Spicer _is an evil boy genius who wishes to enslave humanity, and that this is yet another bogey--,"

"Bogus." The judge corrected.

"That too." Omi replied with a faint sort of smile. "This is another bogey plot to allow him to take away all of my Shen Gong Wu and use them to take over the world."

"Okay, you're runnin' a bit long. Go sit down." The judge said, and started rifling through the papers on his podium.

* * *

Clay was using his stealth to try and find a way to rescue three friends. Jack hadn't made his task easy for him, though. Clay hadn't seen a single Jack-bot since he had arrived at Spicer's mansion, but Jack had quickly solved that problem by filling his lair and the area around it with spider robots. The robots marched in militaristic regiments, making sure that Clay couldn't come within 20 feet of Jack Spicer's mansion without being spotted and zapped.

Normally, Clay would have felt safe just plowing through them using his enormous strength. But, according to the designs on their backs, they had been constructed by Chase Young. He'd have to exercise some caution when dealing with them…

"Charge!" He roared, running right into the middle of the spider robots. In a blink of an eye, he found himself being zapped by their stingers and struck by their webs. It didn't take ten seconds before he had been immobilized completely and was being dragged into Jack Spicer's lair…where Kimiko, Raimundo, and Dojo were probably still being held.

It was Lawyer-bot 2.0's turn to talk. "I'd like to call Ashley, a.k.a. Katnappe to the stand."

"Wha?" Katnappe said, blinking owlishly.

"Get up there!" The robot barrister snapped.

Katnappe got up and walked over to the witness's booth, where she quickly began filing her nails.

"Miss Ashley," The robot began.

"The name's _Katnappe_!" Katnappe said with a purr.

"Y-yeah. Right. Miss _Katnappe_, how do you know Mr. Amy?" The Lawyer-bot asked.

"He's this whiny geek that's always picking on me." Katnappe said coolly.

"Really?" The lawyer asked.

"Yeah!" Katnappe replied. "I used to work for--_with_ that red-headed stepchild over in the plaintiff's box when they started bugging me. Apparently I was 'misusing the powers of a Shen Gong Wu', whatever _that _meant. I took 'em down a few times, piece of pie."

"What happened at Catatonia Land?" 2.0 prompted.

"It was a _purr-_fectly sunny day." Katnappe began dreamily. "I was having fun with _my _Golden Tiger Claws when all of a sudden Cueball and his pals showed up to ruin my day. I would have taken them down then too but then that stupid cowboy started hugging me for no reason. I would have sued for harassment but I didn't know their addresses."

"You see?" The lawyer cried. "They went and beat up this innocent little girl--,"

"_Hey_!" Katnappe and Omi exclaimed in unison, but for two very different reasons.

"—for _no _reason! If that's not a good excuse to send this Mr. Annie to jail, then...then…may lightning strike my circuit boards!" The lawyer hurried over to Jack Spicer's section, just in case some passing god tried to make his wish come true.

"You may, ahem, cross-examine the…uh…the witness." Judge Roy Bean said. "I think."

"That shall be easy, because I am cross right now." Omi said. He walked over to Katnappe. "Do you deny that you were misusing the powers of the Golden Tiger Claws to commit crimes?"

Katnappe looked around nervously. "Do I have to tell the truth?"

"Have you been sworn in?" 2.0 asked.

"No!" Katnappe said with a smirk. "No, I haven't been sworn in."

"Ah. We can do that now." Omi said. He pulled out the Ancient Scroll of the Shen Gong Wu. Do you swear to not lie, tell the truth, and the whole truth, so help you Dashi?"

"Huh?"

Omi put the scroll away. "That is good enough for the court. Answer the question." Judge Roy Bean.

Katnappe sighed. "Yeah…I was using the Tiger Claws. But I had a good reason! I needed to steal from schoolchildren, jewelry stories, nuns, and banks because my parents…never…_hugged me_!"

On cue, the jury gave a loud, pitying 'Awwwwwwwwwww' sound that completely obscured Katnappe's crocodile tears.

"That is no excuse!" Omi said. "I am an orphan; my parents never hugged my either, but I still fight on the side of good because it is the right thing to do."

Katnappe began sniveling. "C-can I gosit down now? I need to…take a break."

The judge was feeling really charitable. "You go sit down now." He turned on Omi. "I'm watchin' you. Call your first witness!"

* * *


	8. The Truth about Xiaolin Showdowns

The spiders ended up forcing Clay into a broom closet in the mansion's attic, leaving only three of their number to guard him. He waited until the other robots had made their way back to their original positions before climbing to his feet inside the closet and withdrawing the Reversing Mirror from inside his robes.

"Hi." Clay said.

The spiders craned their mechanical heads up. "'sup." They muttered back. Then, they realized that he was at least five times their size.

"_Seismic Kick – EARTH_!" He stomped the spiders into oblivion, knocking the door apart and buckling the foundation of Jack Spicer's mansion in the process.

The attack persuaded a pair Guard-bots to come and try to mess with him. That was yet another mistake, since it barely took Clay five seconds to add them to the local ecosystem.

"Clay? Is that you?" called Kimiko from elsewhere in the lair. Clay stepped out of the broom closet, looking around.

"Look up! _Look up_!" called Dojo. Clay looked up.

"Well, I'll be darned." He said. Kimiko, Raimundo, and Dojo were still in their cages, but Jack had suspended them on the attic roof, far above his head. "This is going to take some doing. You guys better just sit tight, and let me handle things."

* * *

Omi had chosen to call a Jack-bot to the stand. "Jack-bot," He began after swearing it in.

"I prefer Jackie." The Jack-bot replied, giggling.

"Uh, okay. _Jackie_." He amended. "Where were you on the day of today?"

"In Jack Spicer's lab." The robot said.

"What does Jack Spicer usually make you do?" Omi demanded.

"Oh, the usual." The Jack-bot said with a titter. "'_Jack-bots, attack'_ and _'Jack-bots', bring me a pudding cup_'. My favorite is, '_Jack-bots, give me a sponge bath_'. Oi, it's a _nightmare_ working for this one."

"Did we really need to hear that last one?" Jack called.

"You're right." The judge said, sounding queasy. "Your testimony is thrown out, _Jackie_."

"But I had just come up with the perfect defense!" Omi complained.

"Too bad!" The judge said.

"Yeah, _too bad_!" Jack snickered.

"Shut up, boy!" The judge snapped. He banged his pistol on the podium again. "Would your lawyer-trons like to cross-examine the witness?"

"Nah." 1.0 said.

"There is no need." 2.0 added.

"Ditto." 3.0 piped up.

"Then call your next witness!" The judge shouted.

"I call…Master Fung to the stand!" 3.0 said.

Master Fung took the stand, and 3.0 jumped into the interrogation with gusto. "In your own words, describe a Xiaolin Showdown."

Master Fung cleared his throat loudly. "A Xiaolin Showdown is a martial-arts contest between two or more opponents that is usually fought over a magical artifact known as a Shen Gong Wu." He said. "The very first Xiaolin Showdown was fought by Grandmaster Dashi against the evil Heylin witch W--,"

"That's enough!" Wuya hissed from the sidelines.

The Lawyer-bot nodded. "Okay, you can stop now. I have another question – do people usually get grievously injured during a Xiaolin Showdown?"

"No." Master Fung replied. "The magic of a Xiaolin Showdown is such that any major injury that takes place is rectified at the end of the competition. Of course, physical damage _is _possible, but only if the rules of a Xiaolin Showdown are broken so heinously that the magic stops working."

"Aha!" The lawyer said. "So it _is _possible that Mr. Spicer could have been grievously injured!"

"Yes, but it is--," Master Fung began.

"There you have it, folks! Straight from this monk himself! _Xiaolin__Showdowns_ are nothing but vicious orgies of bloodthirsty violence, designed entirely to harm people who 'break the rules heinously'."

"That's not what I—," Master Fung tried again.

"You may take your seat!" 3.0 yelled. "Unless Amy wants to be cross again…"

"No thank you." Omi said dejectedly.

"He's guilty! _GUILTY_!" howled half the jury members.

"Not _yet_!" Judge Roy Bean snapped.

Omi could only hope that Clay was almost done rescuing his friends. Then they could just leave and never talk about this horrible trial again.

* * *


	9. Friend of Foe?

The trial only got worse for Omi. The Lawyer-bots called up their witnesses and they all gave testimonies that made Omi and his friends look like baby-eating sociopaths. What was worse, the judge, jury, and even the bailiff believed every word they said. When Tubbimura explained about how peaceful he and his ninja tribes were before the monks started attacking them out of nowhere, they fought back tears. When Vlad explained how he struggled to save up enough money for Evil University, three of the jury-members (including the Jack-bot) offered to pay his way through to college. Even Wuya's horribly unbelievable story about how she only wanted to help people until Dashi mugged her out of nowhere was received with tearful accolades for being strong enough to survive.

"Alright, I reckon it's time for an intermission. See y'all in five minutes." Judge Roy Bean announced. The bailiff ran forward and shooed everyone out of the courthouse, then followed them out and locked the door behind him.

"Master Fung, do you think that this trial is going well?" Omi asked.

"I am sorry, but no." Master Fung replied. "What happened to Clay?"

"He is rescuing our other friends from Jack Spicer's lair. Soon, he will be here and we will be able to leave." Omi held up the Mokkou Feather, which was glowing since it had just sent a whole bunch of Shen Gong Wu into its dimension.

Jack Spicer came over, still in his wheelchair. "I'm winning!" He said.

"I realize this." Omi replied.

"Pretty soon, I'll have _all _your Shen Gong Wu." Jack said. "And there's nothing you can do it because my Lawyer-bots are perfect."

"Nothing you can build is perfect, Jack Spicer." Omi said.

"That's just it. _I _built the Lawyer-bots, but I got my programming instructions from Chase Young." Jack said.

"Thief." Omi muttered.

"You say 'thief'. I say 'genius'! See you, Xiaolin loser." With that, Jack snapped his fingers and 1.0 came floating over to wheel him back to the courthouse.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Clay was still trying to get his friends down from Jack Spicer' precarious prison, and was starting to run out of ideas. "You sure that you can't use your elements to get you down?" Clay asked.

"No!" Rai called. "This stupid cage is too small for me to even move!"

"Huh." Clay said. He cracked his knuckles and headed back to the broom closet. He came back with a laser cannon that he had quickly stripped from the robot. "Maybe I can melt the bottom of the cage and free you guys." He suggested, taking unsteady aim with the cannon.

"Oh, snap--," Rai groaned as Clay fired the cannon. It missed (thankfully) and blasted a hole in the ceiling next to him.

"Clay, you know, if you're going to be like that then we don't mind staying up here." Kimiko said nervously.

"I have a plan." Clay replied. He picked up some of the debris that had fallen, crushing it his powerful hands. "_Earth_!"

The crumbled rock slid through his fingers, creating long undulating tendrils of sediment that stretched from Clay's hands to the cages above him. With complete concentration, he was able to change the rock into a rudimentary key, one that could hopefully pick the locks on the cage or _something_.

"I didn't know you could do that." Dojo said.

"I didn't know I could do that either." Clay said, concentrating even more.

_Click_.

-------------------------------------------------------

Jack Spicer was at the witness stand. He was in tears and kept struggling to sneak the bottle of Visine back into his pant's pocket without being seen. "And so…they came and attacked me, all because I had blown down the door to their s-stupid vault and was trying to t-take all of their Shen Gong Wu!"

"That's terrible!" The bailiff said to Omi.

"Shut up!" Judge Roy Bean snapped. "That's _terrible_." He said to Omi. "You ought to be ashamed."

Omi didn't even bother to answer. The last time he had tried to point out that Jack Spicer was an evil terrorist, he had just had his word twisted by the incredibly capable Lawyer-bots.

"I think we've heard enough." Judge Roy Bean said as he handed Jack Spicer a silk handkerchief (which he promptly stole). "Jury, you may deliberate."

"We don't need to." The jury members said in unison. The foreman, a surfer, got to his feet.

"Here you go, judge-dude." The surfer handed the judge a slip of paper, and Omi began wishing for a miracle.

Judge Roy Bean cleared his throat loudly. "The jury has made a decision, and I agree with it." He began reading off of the paper. "For the crimes of maliciously persecuting' your fellow man as well as hoardin', stealin', and il-legal rasslin', I order you, Omi, and the Xiaolin dragons to--,"

Just then, Omi's wish was granted. The windows on the east side of the courthouse _exploded_. About six jungle cats leapt through the shattered glass and began advancing menacingly at the judge, forcing him to drop the slip of paper as he fumbled around for his pistol-gavel.

"It seems that I arrived just in the nick of time," said a smooth, sly, evil, and all too familiar voice.

"Chase Young," Omi whispered as the man himself stepped through the double-doors of the courthouse. Even as he entered the courthouse, Omi was not sure whether or not Chase Young was there to help him or make things worse for him…


	10. The Tapes

Needless to say, Jack Spicer was not happy to have Chase Young enter, especially in so rude a fashion. "You're paying for that," He warned, pointing at the smashed windows and obliterated door.

"It is not I who will be paying, Spicer." Chase Young replied.

"What's all this then?" The judge demanded, twirling his pistol around his fingers impatiently. "Now, I reckon that nobody's told you, but this here's a court of _law_, and as such you got no right to do this. Not with all the bargin' in and the threatenin' and--,"

"I am well within my rights to be here." Chase interrupted. "_I _was summoned by Omi as his…er…defense counsel. Isn't that right?"

Omi blinked. A hundred (well, just two) thoughts were racing about in his head. What was going on here? Why was Chase Young trying to help him? He decided to put all those thoughts aside. "Y-yes. I _did _call Chase Young here…for the…"

Judge Roy Bean furrowed his brow. "Well, I guess you can do that 'defense' stuff…but make it fast and clean, alright?"

"I won't promise that." Chase responded. He snapped his fingers, beckoning one of his fierce feline accomplices forward. It was pushing a cart filled with old VHS tapes. Chase lifted one into the air. It was entitled '_The Journey of a Thousand Miles'. _

"What are you doing?" Jack Spicer demanded.

"This was not part of our original calculations, Mr. Spicer, sir." The Lawyer-bots chirped.

Somehow, Chase had managed to procure a television set _and _a VCR. He dimmed the lights using Heylin magic (instead of just using the light switch) and put the tape into the VCR.

"Since when did we have a tape being made of our first adventure together?" Omi asked Master Fung.

Chase fast-forwarded through most of the tape until he reached a particular scene. It was set in San Francisco, and it was a worm's eye view of the scene where Jack Spicer was retrieving the Mantis Flip Coin. Omi asked him to relinquish the Shen Gong Wu for safe-keeping. Jack responded by unleashing his Jack-bots on them.

"Aha!" Omi said. "It was Jack Spicer who started the aggression, not us. I was polite."

Jack Spicer groaned. He was afraid that something like this would happen. "Lawyer-bots! Fast forward to the part where Cueball _steals _my Two-Ton Tunic."

The robots quickly did so.

"Hey, that was _not _stealing!" Omi protested. "The Two-Ton Tunic was just lying there."

"Just as the Mantis Flip Coin was _just lying there_." 1.0 pointed out.

The tape kept going until it reached the showdown between Jack Spicer and Omi for the Eye of Dashi. Both of them were remembering what had happened during that showdown.

"We...uh...we don't need to see that, right?" Jack mumbled. "I mean, we already know what happened...well...uh..."

"Oh, it's quite all right with me." Omi said, lounging.

After the showdown was over, Chase put in another tape entitled '_Like a Rock'_.

"That's the one with that stupid mime." Jack muttered. "We _definitely _don't want to see this."

"Was this not also the episode in which you had your 'hiney kicked' by my friend, Clay?" Omi asked. "Yes, I remember it clearly now. You hired a mime to incapacitate my friends and I, but you forgot Clay. Then you challenged him for the Fist of Tebigong and _lost _to his slow-and-steady method of fighting."

Jack Spicer said nothing.

"Yes, that was a most amusing adventure." Omi replied as Chase Young played many more tapes, including the one when Omi went New York, the one where Jack Spicer brought their dreams to life, and the one where he read their minds using the Mind Reader Conch.

"Objection!" 2.0 shouted. "Relevance!"

"Say what now?" Judge Roy Bean replied.

"What does this have to do with the _trial_? About Master Fagin here--," The robot glared at Master Fung with beady digital eyes. "--allowing his pupils to willfully and maliciously brutalize this nice, sweet, gentle young man here with absolutely _no _provocation."

"No _provocation_?" Chase Young demanded. "Look at the tapes!"

"Tapes...can be doctored." 2.0 said evasively.

"Yeah. _Yeah!_" Judge Roy Bean said. "That ain't nothing but Photoshop! You should be ashamed of yourself, Mr. Scary Heylin warlock lizard guy!"

Chase Young began cleaning his nails absently, apparently unaware of what was going on.

"Bailiff, throw this man outta this here courthouse before he obstructs justice any further!" The judge ordered.

Chase flexed his fingers and began pointing them, one by one, at Jack Spicer. A spark of green light began to jump from fingertip to finger tip until it reached the very tip of his index finger.

"What're you doing?" Jack stammered as the light became brighter and brighter. At that point, he realized that Chase Young was probably going to disintegrate him. Maybe he shouldn't have stole those Capture-bots from him. And _maybe _he shouldn't have trapped him in the Sphere of Yun that other time. Yeah...

"Look!" Omi exclaimed. Jack squealed as Chase Young's threatening glow became almost blinding. He jumped out of his wheelchair, pulling off his neck brace and screaming for assistance with tearing off his cast.

"I really don't think that you should--," Lawyer-bot 3.0 began.

"He's gonna turn me into evil boy genius _soup_!" Jack screamed. 3.0 sighed and slid open his chest-compartment. Three mechanized saws came out of its chest, slicing apart the cast and allowing Jack to run around, screaming like a madman. He pulled off two cartwheels, a somersault, and ended up dangling from a tapestry hanging behind Judge Roy Bean's head.

"What are you doing?" The judge snapped.

"Chase Young is going to turn me into--," Jack began again, then he realized Chase wasn't even there any more. Neither was his army of cats or his VHS tapes. He _had _left the TV, though.

"Get back to your seat so that the jury can render their decision." Judge Roy Bean commanded.

Jack looked down at the floor, which was almost two feet below his ankles. "I'm scared." He whimpered.

"You can fly." Omi pointed out.

The evil boy genius realized this as well, and activated his heli-bot to allow him to fly back over to his side.

"We get closing statements." 1.0 chimed in at that point.

Judge Roy Bean coughed. "Yeah. Closing statements. Go ahead. But make it short; I have a golf game with my brother, Langtry, and it starts in an hour."

"We won't need 5 minutes." 1.0 said ominously, and it walked out in front of the jury.


	11. Xiaolin Infinity

**Author's Notes**

_**Hjhjhjyhj** – O.o I don't understand what you just said, but thanks again for the 'amazingly hilarious' compliment._

_**DF – **You're right, but this story takes place in Season Two, right before Dangerous Minds. That's why Wuya's a ghost, nobody's made it to Wudai warrior, and Hannibal Roy Bean isn't in this story._

_**JACKIE JACK SPICER – **Thanks! Personally, I don't think that Wuya __can be sued. Unlike the monks, she's not really likely to play Jack Spicer's games and abide by the law._

_**Hybrid S. **– Cool! Thanks for reviewing. You know, I usually just make it so that my email address and password are __already in the menu so that I'm automatically logged in. :D_

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"I can't believe it!" Kimiko said. "It worked!" She pushed open the newly-opened door to her cage, letting a few grains of sand fall from the lock mechanism.

"Of course it worked." Clay said proudly. "I wouldn't have done if it didn't."

"What?" Dojo asked.

"Never mind, Dojo." Clay replied. "C'mon, we gotta go help Omi out with that trial."

Kimiko and Raimundo jumped down, with Dojo catching a ride on Raimundo's head. "Your head isn't nearly as soft as Clay's." Dojo complained as they plummeted to the ground. "It's all _bony_."

"Gee, thanks." Raimundo said as they landed. Dojo jumped off, stretching his muscles. They were all glad to be freed from Jack's incredibly cramped and precariously perched cages. Now, they all had to go to the courthouse and stop before Omi lost all of their Shen Gong Wu to Jack Spicer and Wuya.

They cut across Jack Spicer's lair, where his evil inventions lay strewn all over the place. The only thing that was showing any flicker of life was a strange portal built into the wall. It was giving off an eerie glow that quite frankly was making them all nervous.

"Anybody got a plan?" Clay asked as they approached the door that would lead them out of Jack Spicer's basement.

"Not really." Raimundo said.

"We'll just wing it when we get there." Kimiko added.

"_If _you get there," chirped a voice from above them. The three monks and the dragon looked up only to see a Capture-bot crawling down the side of the wall, snapping a pair of razor-sharp metallic pincers menacingly. The robot was at least as large as Omi's head, and had a number of smaller units squatting atop it with their own weapons cocked and ready.

Dojo groaned. "Tell me when it's all over!" He skittered up Clay's arm and hid himself inside his ten-gallon hat.

"We attack at once." Raimundo said. "Got it?"

"Yeah." Kimiko replied.

"Sure 'nuff." Clay muttered.

"_ATTACK_!" And they did.

---------------------------------------------------

"And so…" 1.0 said as it concluded its speech. "You _must _find Omi guilty, because of the _mountain of evidence _that we have provided for you. Also, if we get a guilty verdict, Jack Spicer will personally give each and every one of you…a hug."

"What?" Jack demanded.

"End of statement!" 1.0 announced, floating back over to Jack Spicer.

"Good closing statement." Judge Roy Bean said. "I approve of the bribery. _Next _vict—er, Ami."

Omi cleared his throat loudly before giving his own statement. "My friends, ladies, gentlemen…and assorted Heylin warriors...have you ever tried to deal with Jack Spicer for more than a few hours? He is always up in my business, stealing my Shen Gong Wu and bringing about 1,000 years of darkness. And he _never_ stops, no matter how dangerous things get! If I had hair, I would tear it right out!" He scrunched his eyes and yelled before turning around and walking back to his seat. "I'm okay, now."

"Jury, you may _now _deliberate." Judge Roy Bean said. "Again. I'm throwing out your previous verdict."

"Thank you, your honor." The foreman said. "But as we said before, we don't need no deliberation. Here you go again, dude."

The judge cleared his throat as he accepted the slip of paper. He unraveled it and then put on his reading glasses, taking his time in order to build up dramatic tension. "Oh, yeah, this is one real nice verdict." He mumbled to himself. He cleared his throat once again and began reading it aloud to everyone in the courthouse. "In the case of the Xiaolin monks vs. Jack Spicer, the jury hereby finds the Xiaolin monks..."

"Hey, what's that over there?" One of the dentists in the jury called.

Everyone turned to see a strange glow coming from the wall behind the jury.

"Evacuate!" The bailiff shouted.

All of the jury members ran forward just in time to avoid being annihilated as the entire wall buckled and got blown everywhere. The Capture-bots swarmed in, surrounding a large Capture-bot that had a huge hole where its body used to be.

"Clay! Kimiko! Raimundo!" Omi called. "What happened to the Dragon Ex-Kumei signal?"

"Didn't need it." Clay said. "We thought that this had a bit more 'punch'."

"What the heck is going on here?" The judge demanded.

"Jack Spicer is a napkidder!" Omi accused.

"What?" The judge cried, becoming more and more confused.

"Kidnapper." Raimundo corrected. "He means, 'kidnapper'.'

"Yes. He nap—kidnapped my friends, Raimundo, Kimiko, and Dojo." Omi said.

"Actually, he _dragon­_-napped Dojo." Kimiko pointed out.

"Speaking of dragon naps," Dojo yawned. "Could you guys keep it up and let me get some shut-eye?"

The judge turned on Jack Spicer, who was looking pretty sheepish at that point. "Is this true, Albino Jim?"

Jack groaned. "No!" He said. "Lawyer-bots – conference!"

The robots formed a huddle with Jack in the middle. After conversing for a few minutes, they broke up and Lawyer-bot 3.0 went floating over to Omi.

"We thought about it, and we've decided to drop the charges." The robot said. "_Provided _that you give us your Mokkou Feather."

"No!" Omi said.

"Too bad!" Jack retorted. "Lawyer-bots! Take his feather!"

swiftly moved forward, grabbing Omi's hands and holding them up while 2.0 snatched the feather away. The robots passed the Shen Gong Wu around like it was a hot potato before tossing them into Jack Spicer's hands.

"Today, _victory is mine!" _He cackled. "I don't need you any more." Jack said to the judge, jury, and bailiff.

"What about us?" Katnappe demanded. "We've been sitting here playing your stupid trial. We deserve a cut!"

Jack grinned broadly. "Sure, you'll get a cut." He waved the feather over his head. "_Mokkou Feather_!"

The vortex opened over their heads and the suitcase fell out. It landed at the floor next to Omi's right foot.

At first, nobody made a move. Then, all of a sudden…

"Mine! All mine!" Katnappe shrieked, jumping on the suitcase.

"I claim these Shen Gong Wu for my ninja clan!" Tubbimura bellowed.

"These Shen Gong Wu belong to the temple." Omi said, laying his own claim. Raimundo, Kimiko, and Clay quickly concurred.

"Hey, I set up this exceedingly long trial! _I _deserve all of the Shen Gong Wu!" Jack complained. "Give it to me!" He and his Lawyer-bots lay their hands on the briefcase, trying to pull it away from everyone else.

"You owe me, Spicer!" Vlad said, laying a finger on the briefcase,

"I had to sit here. The Shen Gong Wu belong to me." Pandabubba demanded.

As they all started pulling on the briefcase, the Shen Gong Wu inside began to glow with a familiar light.

"Uh-oh…" Katnappe said. "I think we broke it."

"You did worse than that, Katnappe." Dojo said ominously, pulling out the Xiaolin Showdown official rulebook. "You have initiated a Xiaolin Infinity Showdown – a 12-way Xiaolin Showdown!"

"That is not possible. There is no such thing." Omi said, still not relinquishing his grip.

"On the contrary," Master Fung said. "A Xiaolin Infinity Showdown is most real. It is a twelve-way battle in which the competitors divide themselves up into teams of four, with each competitor wagering one Shen Gong Wu."

"They don't even _have _Shen Gong Wu." Kimiko said, referring to Vlad, Katnappe, Tubbimura, and Pandabubba.

"That is also taken care of." Master Fung said. The briefcase opened, just a crack, and the four Wu-less participants found themselves reaching in for Shen Gong Wu.

"Okay, guys. Tell me what you're doing." Dojo said as he began writing in the rulebook.

"Since I touched the Wu _first_, I get to decide the Showdown." Katnappe said with a smirk. "And I choose…Demolition Arena!"

"_Underwater _Demolition." Jack insisted. "It's rematch time…Opie!"

"Fine." Dojo said, hurrying to write down the name of the game.

"Our team wagers the Mokkou Feather, the Mantis Flip Coin, the Reversing Mirror, and the Shroud of Shadows." Omi said.

"_Our _team wagers the Helmet of Jong, the Thorn of Thunderbolt, the Monkey Staff, and the Changing Chopsticks." Jack added.

"And _my _team--," Katnappe began.

"Who died and allowed you to become team leader, kitty litter?" Tubbimura interrupted. "Ourteam wagers the Gills of Hamachi, the Fist of Tebigong, the Serpent's Tail…and the Lasso Boa-Boa."

"Gong Yi--," Omi began.

"Hold your horses!" Dojo snapped. "I'm still writing 'chopsticks'."

Finally, Dojo finished. "Gong Yi Tampai!" They all said in unison, the first ever Xiaolin Infinity Showdown was begun.

--------------------------------------


	12. The Great Hoop Race

The Courthouse became ghostly as it rocketed forward at thousands of miles per hour. Everyone inside could barely hang on as they went off the edge of a cliff and plummeted into the icy water below. The showdown spiraled around them, creating a panoramic view of the seas as they landed into the ocean's floor.

"I'm g-getting queasy!" Raimundo groaned.

"S-stay a-away from my h-h-hat!" Clay said, forcefully jerking his Stetson out of Raimundo's path.

"This is worse than Dojo." Jack complained.

"I r-resent that!" Dojo snapped as the building finally settled at the bottom of the ocean. Miraculously, sets of magical pressurized suits appeared around everyone's bodies, preventing them from being crushed while the showdown was taking place.

Dojo skittered down the size of Clay's shoulder with a water-proof copy of the rulebook in his hand. "Alright, guys? Everyone settled?"

"No." One of the jury members complained. "When are we going to read the verdict?"

"Verdict?" Jack demanded. "Yeah. We shouldn't have to go through with the showdown anyway." He said. "The judge should read the guilty verdict and make them give me back all of the Shen Gong Wu in the briefcase."

Dojo rolled his eyes. "Do you see the briefcase here?" He said. "No, of course not. That's because it's _all _the way across the ocean, and the only way you get to it is if your team wins. Oh, and if you _don't _win, you lose _all _of your Shen Gong Wu."

Jack Spicer started muttering under his breath as Wuya floated into his head. "If you and your ridiculous robotic monstrosities lose all of our Shen Gong Wu, I will _SCREAM_ at you non-stop."

"I'm used to it." Jack muttered.

"This is some really high stakes, Omi." Clay remarked.

"Yes, and I fear we are not down to--," Omi said.

"Up to it." Raimundo corrected. "And I gotta say, I'm having my doubts too. Maybe we should have picked better Wu."

"If only we had mastered Ki Lightning, then we'd be _sure _to win." Kimiko said.

"I agree." Omi said. "And if you and Raimundo had not gotten yourself captured, then we would not have been entangled by Jack Spicer's plans."

"Are…are you _implying _something, Omi?" Kimiko asked, getting her hackles up.

"No." Omi replied innocently. "All I am saying is that if you had used your intelligence instead of walking into Jack Spicer's traps then perhaps we could have avoided this altogether."

He turned away from her, whistling with gusto.

Pandabubba, Vlad, Katnappe, and Tubbimura were faring much better. "So," Katnappe whispered conspiratorially as she pressed an envelope into her teammate's hands. "If we start to lose the showdown, we distract everyone with these naked pictures of Jack Spicer in the tub."

"Why do you--," Pandabubba said.

"Internet." Katnappe interrupted, as if that was a real answer to his question.

"In my country," Vlad said. "We use tactics instead of suspicious pictures of—wait, is that Bubbly Brand Bubble-Bath next to the tub? My father used to know a man whose wife once lived next to the owner of that company! I shall sue for royalties."

While the numerous conversations were going on, Dojo was busy setting up an announcer's box in the middle of courthouse. With some help from the bailiff and two of the dentists in the jury, he was able to rig up a box _and _a score-card system, with the names of three teams (Xiaolin, Heylin, and Those Other Guys).

He also managed to find a megaphone that the bailiff had been using as a toilet plunger and after some help with a sponge and some dishwashing liquid the showdown was ready to commence.

"Okay, everyone!" He announced, stopping all the conversations as everyone turned to face the announcer's box. "This is going to be your standard unorthodox Xiaolin Infinity Showdown. It's going to be four rounds of action, adventure, excitement, and possibly romance…"

"Wrong script." Wuya snapped.

Dojo coughed sheepishly and changed his tune. "No, wait, what I _meant _was that it's going to be four rounds of Olympic-style events, with the team to gain the most victories winning the entire Showdown. Since there are three teams, we'll have three-on-three with each event."

The bailiff scurried forward and drew the curtains on the window on the south wall of the courthouse. Outside, they could see a row of gigantic hoops that seemed to stretch for miles.

"The first round is a simple challenge; race through the silver hoops. The first person to get through the _gold _hoop gets the point." Dojo said.

"That…that doesn't sound _so _bad." Clay said. "I think I might volunteer for this one."

Wuya rounded on Jack. "Get in there!" She ordered.

Jack rounded on the Lawyer-bot 1.0. "You hear the man—er, woman—er, witch! Get in there!"

"This shall be easy." Pandabubba remarked. "I was the prize swimmer at University of Hong Kong's Yakuza and Assorted Crimes champion swim team."

As soon as they volunteered, Dojo wrote down their names and the three competitors vanished out of the courthouse. They reappeared just outside of the building.

"Ready…" Dojo began. "Set…"

The competitors were poised and ready.

"G—_canteloupe!_"

1.0, Clay, and Pandabubba shot forward, only to be caught by a huge set of white-gloved hands and hurled backwards.

"Ha!" Dojo said. "I didn't say it that time."

"Say what?" 1.0 asked.

"I didn't say go-o-oh!" Dojo sang.

And they were off.

----------------------

Clay's focus was entirely on the last hoop. He would be like a shark or…or some kind of barracuda. Entirely focused, completely precise. Jack's robots wouldn't get their hands on all those Shen Gong Wu. Not until they could beat him in an underwater race.

The dragon of the earth was head and shoulders ahead of Pandabubba and 1.0's mechanical circuitry was holding it back. Jack had misappropriated a self-repairing armor from Toshiro Tohomiko's laboratories but the water damage was taking its toll on the robot. Perhaps he should have used those Siamese Fighting Fish-bots again instead of sending his robot lawyers into combat…

"Jack!" Wuya yelled. "We're losing!" Wuya snapped.

"Don't worry." Jack assured as he pulled a remote control from the inside pocket of his jacket. "I have a plan." He pressed a button on his remote.

There was a loud beeping sound and the robot's shoulders fell away. Coming from where the shoulders used to be were a pair of extremely long and thick black wires. The wires waved around in the water for a bit until Jack pressed another button. Then they exploded forward, racing past Clay and Pandabubba in a flurry of bubbles and attaching themselves to the very last ocean ring in the line.

Then, they began retracting, pulling the robot's immobile form forward with enough speed that it easily outstripped the other two racers.

"Well, I'll be darned." Clay said with a whistle.

"That can't be legal!" Katnappe complained.

"What do _you _know about legal', girl?" Wuya retorted. "I bet that this was the first time you've even _answered _a summons."

Dojo's voice carried above their bickering. "And in the first few minutes, Jack Spicer's Lawyer-bot 1.0 speeds past the competition! Things are looking bad for Clay and that guy…in the panda outfit! How will it all end?"

"Oh, come off it, Dojo." Kimiko said, sounding annoyed. "None of them are even anywhere near the end of the line."

Dojo sighed. "I know, but I'm building up _dramatic tension_, okay?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	13. The Other Guys Win!

**A/N: As always, read and review, people! Reviews are the mother's milk of a writer!**

---------------------------

"So," Judge Roy Bean said. "What you're saying is that your people decide _all _your criminal case by violence?"

Omi groaned. "No, you are getting it all incorrect. Xiaolin Showdowns are a competition for the _Shen Gong Wu_. We have no legal problems on our side because all evil-doers – such as Jack Spicer – belong to the Heylin!"

"Very interesting." The judge replied. "This ought to go on my case report." He turned around and yelled for the bailiff. "You there! Go get my case report. The _good _case report!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Outside the courthouse, Jack's robot was winning the race. It was being pulled along much faster than any human could swim. "Oh, come on, Clay! Stop being so slow!" Raimundo called. "There is a whole bunch of Shen Gong Wu at stake here!"

Clay gritted his teeth and started going faster. He had never been much of a swimmer, and right now he was feeling angry at Spicer for deliberately selecting an underwater race. And _why _did he have to choose the _Reversing Mirror _for this event? What could _that _do?

"Honestly, Clay! It's almost like you're working for Jack Spicer!" Raimundo called unhelpfully.

The dragon of the earth stopped in place. The robot was nothing more than a rapidly shrinking speck in the distance. In a matter of _seconds_, it would have crossed the finish line and won a point for the Heylin side. But Clay had a plan, and if it worked then the robot wouldn't be _able _to make it to the final ring.

"_Seismic Kick – EARTH_!" He rushed downwards in a flurry of bubbles, sending a brutal kick to the ocean's floor. The ground began to rumble and bubbles began rising all over him. A fissure split from the point of impact, racing forward almost as fast as—no, _faster than _the robot.

"What's that supposed to do?" Jack called from inside the courthouse. "Wuya, what is he doing?"

The robot had detached its wires from the last hoop and was about to propel itself through for a Heylin victory when the hoop swung aside to the left due to the force of the Seismic Kick. The result was that the robot went skidding past it, slipping and sliding through the water as it struggled to reorient itself.

"Go left! _Left_!" Jack cried, hammering on the buttons.

Clay became a living missile, rocketing forward towards the stunned Lawyer-bot. He smashed into its chest, crumbling the chassis and sending the metal head twisting off and drifting away in the ocean.

"I hope you got insurance for that." Kimiko said.

"My man Clay!" Raimundo yelled. "Never doubted you for a second!"

Clay grinned broadly and silently congratulated himself. Then he turned around, ready to gently drift through the last ring and win the round.

"Aw, no…" He groaned as a dark shape appeared in front of the ring.

Pandabubba smirked. "Thank you…for losing." He took a step backwards, passing through the gold ring.

--------------------------------------------------

There was a great big flash of light and all three competitors – including the now thoroughly junked Lawyer-bot, rematerialized inside the submerged courthouse.

"Way to go, Clay." Raimundo muttered. "I knew you were going to mess this up."

"Loser!" Katnappe howled.

Pandabubba snapped his fingers and grinned as Clay's Reversing Mirror and 1.0's Helmet of Jong appeared in his arms. "Again, I thank you. Very much. It is good to see that there are still _suckers _being born every minute."

"Jack, your wretched machines have done it again!" Wuya raged. "If you lose the next round, I'll…I'll…scream even more than I promised to scream at you before!"

"What's the next round?" Omi asked Dojo.

"The next round is…not happening right now. We gotta set it up first. Xiaolin Infinity Showdown's haven't taken place in a while now, so we're really working hard to make up for where Dashi's magic wimps out." Dojo said. He motioned for newly-commissioned jury members to follow him out in their swimming suits to set up the next challenge. "You guys better find something else to do because this could take a while."

"Trial time!" Judge Roy Bean announced. "All of you! Get back to your sides. Due to new evidence being introduced against both parties, I am disregarding the previous verdict--,"

"What?" Jack demanded.

"—and reinstating some new rules." The judge pulled out a piece of paper and began to read. "_I _am the judge _and _the jury. This six-shooter gun's my bailiff _and _if necessary, my _executioner_. Any questions?"

"Nuh-huh." Everyone said in unison.

"Good. Let the trial begin again!"

And so it did.

---------------------------------------------------------


	14. Trials and Mazes

"And then," Omi said. "She said, 'I win…_very fast_!' and it injured my already bruised ego. That was a very dark day for me, and I am reluctant to speak of it any further, lest my shame become too much to bear!"

"That's not how it happened!" Katnappe complained. "He started it with his bragging routine."

"Did I hear an objection?" Judge Roy Bean asked. "Naw! So be quiet!"

Jack made a covert hand-signal to his robots. His Lawyer-bot 2.0 sighed. "I call Wuya, the almighty Heylin Goddess of Sunshine and Joy to the stand." It said. Wuya groaned and floated through its back towards the stand, making sure that she brushed over Omi's round dome as she did.

The Lawyer-bot made a few half-hearted attempts to examine her, using questions such as, "Would you consider yourself my client's mommy?" and "Have you ever watched the news?" The judge seemed impressed, and the Lawyer-bot 2.0 was content to return to its position next to Jack.

Raimundo stepped forward towards the witness box. "Wuya, is it true that a few years back you tried to bribe me into turning to the side of evil with video games and really really _really _nice sports cars?"

"Maybe." Wuya said.

"And is it true that you were imprisoned in the puzzle box because you were an evil Heylin witch?"

"It's certainly possible."

"_And is _it possible that you are currently working with Jack Spicer to try and take over the world again?"

"Sky's the limit, Raimundo." Wuya said, remaining as non-committal as possible without actually lying.

"Well, I did my best." Raimundo said, shrugging. "She's just too tough to crack."

"For our next witness--," Omi began.

"We're done!" Dojo called. "Round two is ready to begin!"

---------------------------------------------------

Round two turned out to be a refreshingly dry, waterproof maze, complete with a ceiling to keep the cheating down and a 'Winner Stand Here' pedestal in the center.

Dojo was quick to explain how the maze was supposed to work. "The key here is to get to the center of the maze while avoiding the traps that we've assembled. If you fall in a trap, there's no penalty except for the wasted time and effort. The first person to make it to the center and _stand on the 'Winner Stand Here' _pedestal is the winner and receives this lovely point towards their team."

Almost immediately after he finished talking, Jack volunteered Lawyer-bot 2.0, handing the machine his Changing Chopsticks. Tubbimura agreed to go to represent his team using his Serpent's Tail. And Raimundo decided to go in for the Xiaolin monks using his Shroud of Shadows.

The magic transported them out of the courthouse and into the entrance of the maze.

"Ready…" Dojo began. "Set…_guacamole_!"

Tubbimura went flipping forward and ended up being slapped back in line by the giant magical white-gloved hand.

"Oh, I slay me." Dojo said.

"_I'll _slay you if you do not hurry up, o scaly one!" Tubbimura snapped, feeling embarrassed and annoyed.

"Okay, then." Dojo muttered. "_Go_!"

------------------------------------------------

Many thoughts were running through Raimundo's mind as he took his first step into the maze.

_Tubbimura and that robot have a type advantage over me. He can walk through walls and it can see through in the dark. And what's _with _the darkness, anyway? How am I supposed to see! Does Dojo _want _me to lose? What happens if I _do _lose this one? I guess it doesn't matter too long. Unless _Tubbimura _wins. If they get two points, then the best we can do it tie with them. I better keep going. _

He walked down a pitch-black hallway, clutching his Shroud. Times like these made him wish he had brought Ninja Fred along…

Raimundo shouted as Tubbimura came cruising through the wall to the left of him, cackling as he passed through the wall to the right and disappeared. The obese ninja's sudden appearance had cast an eerie spectral glow over the proceedings and he could see the hinges of a badly hidden trapdoor in front of him.

Raimundo smirked. "If _that's_ the best he can do then I guess I don't have to worry about the traps any more!"

He held the Shroud over his head and summoned a soft gust that allowed him to gently coast over the trapdoor. Once he felt he was safe, he drifted down and wrapped the Shroud around his neck like a cape.

Suddenly, there was a loud, squealing creak.

"Huh." He said to himself as it dawned on him. "_Two _trapdoors, one right after the other. Well, ain't that a--,"

The trapdoor gave way, and Raimundo fell into the oblivion below.

------------------------------------------


	15. Watery Grave?

Kimiko sighed as she sat inside the witness box. "It's not that I _don't like _Jack Spicer, it's just that I _hate _him."

"Why?" 3.0 demanded.

"Roll the clip!" Kimiko said.

The bailiff brought out the TV set and popped in a tape marked '_Tangled Web_'. Jack was using the Jetbootsu to walk up a mountain's face to the Monkey Staff while heckling Kimiko as she climbed up after him.

"Case in point…" Kimiko began.

"It's not _my _fault you have poor upper body strength!" Jack retorted.

Kimiko smiled sweetly. "Come over here and say that again. Pretty please?"

"Enough!" The judge snapped. He banged his pistol and motioned for Kimiko to return to her seat. "Now, I've been talking to you cowpokes since this trial began, and I'm fairly sure that we're ready to reach a verdict."

"Finally!" Jack said.

**--------------- **

Raimundo's predicament proved to be slightly less lethal than he had guessed. He had fallen for what felt like maybe two or three seconds only to have his fall broken by a giant spider web that Dojo had _somehow _set up underneath the trapdoor.

"Who goes there?" demanded Tubbimura from somewhere next to him in the darkness.

Raimundo cleared his throat. "_I am Sabeeny_," He hissed. "_Earwig lord of the underworld! I shall…uh…I shall desiccate you with my eighteen thousand alien fangs." _

Tubbimura suddenly began grunting and shuddering. Raimundo could feel the spider web being pulled taut until finally the ninja's overpowering strength (and weight!) tore it in half, allowing him to fall through and crawl away while Tubbimura was still thinking that he was about to be desiccated.

_I wonder how ended up in that trap_, Raimundo thought to himself as he slunk around in the darkness. He decided to go back and see if he could find the Serpent's Tail. He had probably dropped it when he fallen through the trap.

"Got it!" Raimundo said.

"Why are you grabbing my leg, o terrifying figure in the darkness?" Tubbimura said as he stopped shaking.

"No reason!" Raimundo said, closing his fingers around the _real _Serpent's Tail. He backed away slowly and then headed down another hallway, using the Shen Gong Wu power to cut across the solid walls.

-----------------

"If you rule against the Xiaolin monks, I'll give $10,000.00 in cash, right now!" Pandabubba announced. "You could do a lot of things with ten thousand dollars! For one, you get a real gavel instead of using a gun--,"

"Ruling against Jack Spicer is the right thing to do." Omi interrupted.

"If you punish the Xiaolin dragons, I'll return all of those naked pictures of you I was about to upload onto the Internet," Katnappe said.

"Free lantern oil every week for a thousand years!" Vlad insisted.

"I'll give you a copy of my new book." Dojo said. "It's called The Life and Times of Dojo, the Handsomest Dragon Ever!"

"I'll give you a free U-bot!" Kimiko yelled.

"I'll give you my Lawyer-bot!" Jack added, much to the robot's displeasure.

Everyone kept chattering on and on, offering up increasingly annoying bribes. Even the bailiff joined in. Finally, the judge had had enough.

"_Shaddup_!" He bellowed, raising his gun into the air. He pulled the trigger, firing bullets into the walls and roof like a madman.

_BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! _

For one blessed minute, everyone was silent. Then it turned into…

"I am so outta here!" Kimiko called as she, Clay, and Omi ran away from the judge's box.

"What is it?" Katnappe asked.

She soon got her response when stream of water began rushing through the newly-formed holes in the courthouse.

"It's the Titanic all over again." The bailiff said balefully. "We can't escape; this courthouse isn't equipped with life-boats or flotation devices."

"_What?" _Pandabubba demanded. "Why aren't there any lifeboats?"

"It's a _courthouse_." Kimiko said.

"Perhaps I should have rethought the whole 'underwater' thing." Jack mumbled.

"Ya think?" Katnappe shrieked. "Now we're all going to die…ten thousand leagues under the sea."

"We're not under the sea! We're _in it_!" Omi snapped.

Dojo was watching over the proceedings, nodding sagely as the water filling the courthouse. "The first sign of oxygen deprivation – extreme irritability."

"No it isn't!" Everyone else in the courthouse roared.

"Case. In. _Point_." Dojo said as everyone started swimming after him with murderous gleams in their eyes.


	16. Pyrrhic Victory

It didn't take long for Tubbimura to catch on about what had happened. Raimundo had barely gone through three hallways before the morbidly obese ninja began crashing towards him, bellowing in his immense fury. Without the Serpent's Tail, Tubbimura had been forced to simply use his overpowering strength to smash his way through the walls, which were surprisingly thin and weak.

"Fee fi fo fum!" Tubbimura roared. His voice seemed to be coming from directly behind Rai. "I smell the blood of a Brazilian man! Be he live or be dead, I'll grind his bones to make my bread!" There was a loud grunt, and he added, "And I will _take _his Shen Gong Wu and beat him with them!"

Raimundo stepped through a wall and fell through a floor, always feeling Tubbimura just at his heels. He picked up the pace, trying to put some distance between himself and his opponent. At one point, he was going so fast that he could barely see where he was going. Only his focus on the Serpent's Tail kept him from losing his intangibility power and smacking into a wall.

Unfortunately, it was at that point that Lawyer-bot 2.0 stepped in front of him, growing to its full size using the magic of the Changing Chopsticks. Its metal claws wrapped around his Serpent's Tail _and _his Shroud of Shadows, yanking them both from his hands while simultaneously head-butting him backwards onto the floor.

"I calculated that you would make a turn at this intersection and planned accordingly." The robot explained as he shrunk Raimundo down.

Tubbimura came barreling towards them, holding a single _hira shuriken _in both hands. The Lawyer-bot waited until he was upon them before activating the Changing Chopsticks. But the ninja was clever, and tossed his _shuriken _at that exact moment. The star collided with the Shen Gong Wu's magical light, sending the beam back at the robot. It shrunk down to Raimundo's size, along with all three of its Shen Gong Wu.

"Victory is mine!" Tubbimura laughed gutturally. He picked up his two tiny opponents and placed them in a tiny pouch.

"Oh, yeah?" Raimundo muttered from inside the pouch. "You still have to find the center of the maze and get on the pedestal first. And I bet you can't do that, now can you?"

Tubbimura grinned, although Raimundo couldn't see it. "I will win, for my clan is one with the shadows!"

------------------------------------------------

The water was knee-deep and most everyone was losing their minds with fear. Omi was calm, since he was at home in water. Clay didn't mind, because he was usually serene almost the point of dopiness. Kimiko didn't mind, because she was certain that if she could just jump a _few feet higher_, she could plug up the holes in the walls with a bit of cotton.

"Can't you turn into a flotation device?" Jack demanded of the Lawyer-bot.

The robot shrugged. "What do I look like? The Chameleon-bot?"

He turned to Wuya. "Do something!"

"What can _I _do?" Wuya retorted. "I have no Serpent's Tail! I have no Reversing Mirror! I-I have no Shen Gong Wu at all, thanks to you and your baffling incompetence! Why, if I--,"

"Oh, be quiet!" Katnappe snapped.

"Stop with all the yelling!" Vlad demanded.

"Gimme a boost!" Kimiko yelled, unnecessarily loud.

Clay lifted Kimiko into the air. "Is this satisfactory?" He asked with a grunt.

"No!" Kimiko said. "Higher."

Clay struggled to lift her up even more. His arms were full extended and were now shaking. "You…you ought to lay off the pocky!"

Kimiko managed to stuff the holes in the ceiling with cotton, temporarily halting the flow of water. Of course, that solution would only last for a few minutes at best, but that was at least enough time to figure out to get rid of all the water.

---------------------------------

Tubbimura had perfected the Long Distance Tippy-Toe Ninja Shuffle, much to Raimundo's chagrin. The overweight ninja was currently trotting at about thirty miles per hour, moving around corners at breakneck speed. Rai was being shaken around the little pouch along and he was starting to feel a bit queasy.

"I have seen the pedestal!" Tubbimura yelled. "Victory is—_ow_!"

The Lawyer-bot had changed one of its hands into an electric drill and had just given Tubbimura a tiny but painful jab to the side. That resulted in the ninja jumping a bit too hard, sending the pouch flipping away from his belt and onto the ground, at which point both of its occupants were able to escape.

Raimundo was the first to spring upwards – literally – with the Changing Chopsticks in his fingers. Tubbimura gave a bellow of frustration and charged at him. He stepped forward with just one foot and brandished the chopsticks around menacingly. One of them caught Tubbimura in his left nostril while the other poked him in the eye. The ninja staggered back, giving Raimundo enough time to shrink the ninja down to a more manageable size.

Rai hurried over to the pedestal in the center of the room. His eyes had gotten used to the dark, so he was able to avoid any ditches and obstacles on the ground.

"Yes! I made it!" Raimundo called as he jumped to the pedestal.

"Ahem!" An artificially-amplified voice said. Raimundo looked down only to see the Lawyer-bot already standing on the pedestal. By the time he noticed, it was too late. His foot came down hard on the robot's head. He crushed it as if it were a soda can…being crushed by Godzilla's…much larger brother Mike.

"Sorry, dude." Raimundo said, wincing.

"S'alright." The robot's tiny head chirped. "I still won anyway!"

Then, they all vanished, reappearing


	17. Lightning Strikes Twice

"Uh, guys, what's going on?" Raimundo asked. He had appeared in the courthouse only to find himself standing up to his waist in water. Several of the court's furniture had detached themselves somehow and were drifting aimlessly by, like leaves in a small lake.

"_Someone _decided to shoot holes in the ceiling." Kimiko explained. "Clay and I tried to stuff the holes with cotton but that didn't work."

Omi, who was sitting on his head, turned over. "_I _tried to use my water chi to stop the flow of water but _that _didn't work either."

"How'd the showdown go, pardner?" Clay asked.

Raimundo whistled nonchalantly. "I…uh…I kinda…Jack's robot won."

"Speak of the Devil…" Clay muttered as Jack Spicer himself came over.

"Hi, guys!" He said brightly. "Remember my Siamese Fighting Fish-bots?" When the monks shook their head, he smiled and jerked his thumb at the wall behind him. In the center of that wall was a glowing fissure that was intermittently emitting puffs of acrid-smelling smoke.

Dojo popped his head out of the water. "I just decided what the next round should be."

The three Siamese Fighting Fish-bots burst through into the courthouse. They had been sewn back together, with their mechanized muscles replaced by inky-black sinews.

"You have to wrestle those guys." Dojo said. "One warrior per demon fish. First person to defeat their opponent wins."

"I'll handle this." Kimiko said.

"Are you sure that you will be able to do it?" Omi asked.

"Why not?" Kimiko demanded. "Is it because I'm a girl?"

"No. It is just that your fire chi will be weakened because of all this water." Omi said hastily.

"I can handle it." Kimiko repeated. Inwardly, she was sort of worried. She hadn't noticed it until then but every time she tried to get a boost of fire energy she had a hard time calling onto her reserves. But maybe she wouldn't need it for this battle. If their previous performance was a good guide, then they weren't so tough that she couldn't handle them. Besides, she only had to fight one, right?

------------------------

Everyone except for Kimiko, Katnappe, and Lawyer-bot 3.0 went to the far side of the courthouse. Then, the six competitors squared off. Kimiko had gotten a black-colored Fish-bot while Katnappe and 3.0 had received a yellow and purple one, respectively.

"Ready, set…go!" Dojo called.

In unison, the Fish-bots launched a heavy black ball at their opponents. 3.0 rocketed out of the way of his but Kimiko and Katnappe were both ensnared as the ball exploded, sending a weighted net tangling around them.

_Oh great_, Kimiko thought to herself as she struggled to break free from the net. _The only way this could get worse if…_

"My claws are just _purrfect _to _cutting _through these nets." Katnappe quipped as she sliced her way out of the trap.

_Great. Cat puns_. Kimiko set her fingertips on fire and scratched her net to pieces. Immediately afterward, she was tackled by the Fish-bot. The machine gnashed its metal claws frantically and it took all of Kimiko's strength to keep it from literally biting her head off.

She pushed the machine backwards, slamming it into the back of Katnappe's opponent. Before it could react, Kimiko darted forward and pressed her hands against its pulsing metal chassis. "_Fire_!" She yelled, sending a surge of fire energy through the metal, separating some of the plates.

"I hate having to watch my robots be destroyed…again!" Jack complained.

"You mean, you're not used to it by now?" Clay responded.

Jack shot him a glare. "_No_!"

The robot hissed and clicked as the newly-separated plates shifted back into place. It was if Kimiko hadn't done any damage to them at all. What was worse, some of the plates had warped and expanded into spikes that crackled with electrical energy. Kimiko could hardly stand to go near it.

"I love the Texas system of justice." Clay said. "I can't think of another place where the verdict depends on winning a fight with a magic robot fish. This is better than oiled-saddle day at the rodeo."

Raimundo shook his head. "No. No it isn't."

"Yeah it is." Judge Roy Bean insisted. "And if you say something like that – you're _guilty_!" He emphasized that last word by firing the last bullet into the wall, letting even more water into the already beleaguered courthouse.

Kimiko wasn't faring too well. The water had dampened her powers even further and the robot had her on the run. What was worse, Katnappe and the Lawyer-bot were wrapping up their opponents. 3.0 had socked his robot enemy a good series of blows with his extendable arms. Katnappe was using the Thorn of Thunderbolt to blast her robot to pieces. In a few minutes, one of them would win and claim victory for their teams.

"Kimiko!" Master Fung called. "Use your power!"

_Huh_, Kimiko thought to herself as she dodged one of the robot's laser blasts. _I had almost forgotten he was there. _She caught a razor-sharp pincer with one of her hands and stumbled backwards, trying to keep it from hitting her. _What was that bit about the power though? Can't he see that I can't do anything? _

She grimaced while the robot began unlocking more of its magically-upgraded weapons. _If this was Goo Zombies II – XCIX_, _there would be a power-up token appearing right about now_.

But she couldn't see a power-up token. Just a bunch of muddy water and a big, hulking robot that barely resembled a fish at all.

Kimiko tried to focus. She needed to find a way to win this round if the Xiaolin monks were ever going to win. If she lost this fight, then they'd lose almost all of the Shen Gong Wu they had to Jack Spicer or those other assorted Heylin henchmen. But what could she do without her fire energy…

Casting her gaze around the room, she noticed that one of the exposed wires on her robot was flickering with electricity. That clicked in her mind and brought up memories of the last training session she had held with Master Fung and the other monks, in which they had tried (and failed) to master the art of Ki Lightning. Ki Lightning would be the perfectway to vaporize the robot. Still, how could she expect to master it _now _when she couldn't get it to work right _then_.

"Kimiko, what are you doing?" Omi called as Kimiko closed her eyes. She tuned out the calls coming from her fellow dragons as she stopped moving and put all her focus on the creature in front of her. Before long, it was as if she and it were the only two things in the room.

She mirrored the pose that Master Fung had shown her. This time, thanks to her utmost concentration, she could feel the electrical energy jumping from everything around her; the water, the air, and even the machine itself.

There was a loud whirring as the machine raised both pincers up above Kimiko's head. "Too slow!" Kimiko snapped, and she held up both hands – palms first – in front of her face. The lightning crackled ever so slowly before erupting forward. The first bolt connected, frying the circuits and killing the reanimating spells within it. This sent the Fish-bot into a mindless spiral in midair as its parts began to dribble out of its dented armor.

"Loser!" Katnappe sneered as she saw Kimiko's robot disabled.

"What're you talking about?" Kimiko demanded. "Mine's dead, and you guys are still wrestling with yours."

"Actually…" Dojo interjected. "You have to _destroy _the robot in order to get the point."

"And I won't let you do that." Katnappe added. "_Fist of TEBIGONG_!" She slammed her fist against a wall, sending debris crumbling from the ceiling onto the dragon of fire. "Now," She said, playing with her fingernails absently. "I can win at my leisure!"

But just then, as she was turning around, there was another deafening hum. Everyone in the courthouse arena looked up and saw a swirling mist pressed against the roof of the building.

"Oh, now that's just dandy!" 3.0 complained. "She made an electrical st--,"

He didn't get to complete his sentence, for bolts of Ki Lightning rained down from the 'heavens', zapping Kimiko's robot. One bolt blew a gaping hole in its midsection while another melted its head clean off. Three electrical blasts targeted Katnappe's and 3.0's enemies, blowing them to smithereens again. It was like fireworks had gone off in the arena as the electric charges rushed about the courthouse, born on the water that had deluged the building.

"Point – _Kimiko_!" Dojo announced, ending the penultimate round.

The newly-unemployed bailiff scurried into the slimy waters to rack up at the point for the Xiaolin warriors.

"Well done, Kimiko!" Omi announced. "Of course, I could have done better myself, being the Xiaolin dragon of the _water_, but you did the best you could."

"You have truly mastered Ki Lightning." Master Fung said.

"Thanks." Kimiko said, picking off bits of rock from her outfit. "I just wish we could get out of here. I'm sick of this trial and I'm sick of fighting against the Heylin warriors."

"_You're _complaining?" Lawyer-bot 3.0 said as it sauntered over. "Do you have any idea how horrible it is on _our _side? All Spicer ever does is smash, smash, smash. And you people with your elements and your…your…Shin Gang Roo! _Aargh_!"

The Xiaolin dragons shot each other a quick look. Clay was the first to speak.

"Well, how'd you like to drop the Heylin losers and work with us? At least until we get out of this mess." Clay suggested. "We have rhubarb pie on Tuesdays…and Wednesdays…and Saturdays, and an all-you-can-eat steak buffet courtesy of the Bailey family ranch!"

The robot shrugged. "That would be a violation of Spicer's poorly-phrased protocols, but what the hey? I'm adaptable!" Lawyer-bot 3.0's beady digital eyes gave a short wink. "My programming has just been altered. Consider me an adaptive survivalist instead of just an evil robottorney." 3.0 sighed. "But could you hold the phone a bit? I think it's time for Spicer's pudding cup."

--------------------------------- 


	18. To Stately Spicer Manor, pt 1

Jack Spicer's favorite part of eating a pudding cup was licking the cover clean of the stray traces of sweetness. He thought that the cover pudding was the most pure kind of pudding there was, and when he was enjoying one there was _nothing _that could distract him from that or make him focus on anything else. Not even the imminent threat of drowning in a rising pool of saltwater with all of his allies and enemies surrounding him.

"Jack!" Wuya rasped, floating through the evil boy genius's empty head. "What is wrong with you? Can you not _see _the water?"

He tossed the pudding cup aside, smirking as it passed through Wuya's body and landed with a soft splash near his Lawyer-bot's steel toes. "I can see the water. But it doesn't really matter to me." He said.

"What?" Wuya demanded.

"Trust me," Jack continued. "As we speak, whole squads of Jack-bots are coming to rescue us."

Wuya's eyes flashed angrily in response. As she floated off, Jack thought that he could hear her muttering darkly about, "Stupid red-headed stepchildren," and "Short-term memory loss."

Back on the Xiaolin side, everyone was feeling much less nonchalant about the current situation.

"I'm exhausted." Kimiko complained. "We've been trapped here for hours and hours and hours. When are we going to be able to get out of here?"

"I dunno." Clay replied.

"Maybe we ought to be thinking of a plan." Raimundo said. "Something involving _water_. If only we had a Xiaolin dragon of the _water _handy, maybe _he _could get us out. Too bad we don't have any bald munchkins running around…"

He glared down at Omi, who was still meditating his life away upside-down in the water. The bald monk seemed to have zoned out of reality almost as much as Jack Spicer had, and was looking a good deal more restive than anyone in his situation had any right to be.

Raimundo was about to shake Omi out of his reverie when Dojo popped his head out of the water. The dragon was wearing a pudding cup on his head and a pair of glasses over his eyes. "The last challenge has just come to me…from beyond the ether!" He announced.

"What?" Kimiko asked.

Dojo continued unabashed. "To win the grand prize of a lovely _faux_-leather briefcase completed with gold-plated clasps, titanium bolts, and the signature supermodel and noted briefcase enthusiast Dojo Kanojo Cho, you must…"

"Tell us now!" Vlad yelled as he bounded over from the Heylin side.

"…carry _everyone _in this courthouse to Jack Spicer's mansion." Dojo finished.

"Your turn, Omi." Kimiko said.

Omi popped open an eye and saw Jack and Vlad standing over him.

"Do not worry, my friends." Omi said.

"Oh, we are _past _worrying. We're in _panicking _territory right now." Raimundo muttered.

"I know exactly what I am going to do." Omi added. He turned towards Jack and Vlad. "I wager my Mokkou Feather against the Monkey Staff and Gills of Hamachi." He said.

"Deal." Dojo said, before Jack and Vlad could say anything else. "Let's go, then! Chop _chop_!"

--------------------------------

Vlad's plan was to physically carry each person on his back. "Climb on my back!" He called. The Lawyer-bot strode across the room and hopped onto him. The robot's gargantuan weight quickly forced Vlad to crouch and waddle in order to support it.

"What a lame idea!" Jack remarked. He flew over to Vlad and pressed a button on the back of his Lawyer-bot. The machine shrank down to half its size and attached itself to Jack's heli-bot. instantly; it extended a mechanical claw out and grabbed Vlad by the shoulder, supporting his own girth solely by the strength of the heli-bot.

"Two down…" Dojo said. "A whole bunch more people to go-o-o-o-o-o!"

Dojo yelled as Jack quickly grabbed him by the neck and crammed him into a compartment on the back of his heli-bot. "Three." Jack said, staring evilly at everyone else in the room.

"That's not going to work, Jack." Wuya said. "There's no way your device can carry everyone in the room."

"Could you have some confidence in me for _once_?" Jack snapped.

Wuya rolled her eyes and floated into the heli-bot, insinuating her ghostly matter into the machine's circuitry. "…waste of time," She growled, even as she did so.

"Why aren't you doing anything?" called Katnappe to Vlad as the vendor/villain allowed himself to be dragged around by the heli-bot.

"Patience. I am having a very sneaking plan." Vlad said.

The Xiaolin monks glared down at Omi. "Why aren't _you _doing anything?" Raimundo asked.

"Patience. I am having a very clever plan." Omi explained. "Please assist me by activating this." He placed the Mokkou Feather in Raimundo's hands and then took three steps back.

"_Mokkou Feather_!" Raimundo waved the feather over his head. On cue, the feather began glowing, creating a vortex similar to that of the Golden Tiger Claws. Omi wrapped himself in a bubble of water, but everyone else was defenseless as the vortex began sucking everything into its world of pagodas and steam.

"Hey!" Jack whined as everyone besides he, Omi, and Vlad went sailing into the portal.

He flew up to meet it, but he was too late since the feather's portal closed, leaving only the Wu behind for Omi to catch.

"Ha!" Omi said, holding the feather up for his opponents to see. "All I have to do is get this to the surface and I will _win_!"

"Gimme!" Jack said, jumping at Omi with a mad gleam in his eyes.

Vlad snapped off the mechanical claw off of the miniaturized Lawyer-bot and swept Jack off his feet with it. As the evil boy genius landed with a splash, Vlad leapt over him and snatched the feather out of Omi's hands. "See you on the other side!" Vlad chuckled as he placed the Gills of Hamachi around his neck. With the feather between his teeth, he charged forward and smashed a big hole in the wall, letting a bunch of water rush in on his opponents as he fled to the surface.

------------------------------------

The courthouse was quickly filled with water, much to the terror of Jack Spicer and the momentary panic of Omi. While the pasty-faced teen held his breath and floated around in the water, Omi manipulated the seawater to create an oceanic cushion for them both.

"_Wurrtrrr_," He burbled.

"_What_?" Jack called.

His question was answered as both boys were blasted through the water by the force of the entire ocean. They were buffeted back and forth by the pressure, which alternated between being merely crushing to being downright agonizing. Neither of them could see much of anything, much less Vlad and the Mokkou Feather, and the only thing running through their minds right about then was '_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH_!'.

They finally broke the surface of the water, soaring about three feet above it before landing back into the sea with a loud splash.

"W-w-w-w-way to g-g-g-go, O-omi!" Jack said, shivering as he bobbed up and down on the water's surface.

Omi glared at him. "I strongly advise you to start swimming. I cannot make you float for much longer."

"Oh, I am _out _of here!" Jack said as he felt the water's surface tension slipping. He activated his heli-bot and flew away, still dripping water as he did. Omi watched him fly off before taking off in the same direction, towards the distant speck of land that could only be the mainland where Vlad would eventually have to turn up to win.

-------------------------------------


End file.
